maaike1995

Hi all!

Okayy. So my last journal was about me turning 18. This summer I'll turn 20. Something went wrong here. It's been so long since I've drawn anything. Like at all. 
I'm not entirely sure what happened. Maybe it's because I'm really busy lately. I'm doing an internship at Roamler at the moment, which takes a lot of time. I'm supposed to work 32 hours a week, but I reach 38 easily. Besides that, I have one day of school, my work at a supermarket, basketball practices and games and I've recently started tutoring. Most of my free time goes to the shows I watch (maybe a bit too many shows to follow each week haha). 

I can blame my absence on being busy, but that wouldn't be the whole truth. The past year - I think - I just haven't felt like drawing. I just looked at my equipment and didn't have any inspiration. Seeing some awesome drawings on Instagram made me realise how long it has been.

I really do miss drawing, talking to you guys and looking at all the amazing art on here. I haven't succeeded in finding a good reference photo for a new drawing, but I can feel the itch in my hands to start drawing again! Which I take as a good sign Hopefully I'll be able to show some new work soon and finish the drawing I started working on too long ago.

Hope to catch up with you all and see all your lovely art!

Warm regards,
Maaike

PS. Any suggestions for a good reference photo are welcome!

It's my birthday today! Which means I'm finally 18!

It kinda sucks that 18 isn't such a special age anymore though.. because you used to be allowed to start your driving lessons when you turn 18, but now you can start with that when you are 16.5, so nothing special anymore :/

oh well.. now I don't have to lie about my age anymore! WOOO

and I'm home alone now ON MY BIRTHDAY meh.

*walks out of her cave*
well.. I'm kind of back I guess.. I have been so absent on deviantart
I MISSED YOU GUYSSS
*corny mood all over the place!*

I've been busy with school and social life I guess. and those two combined. I'm studying applied psychology so that means I have to reflect A LOT on my own behaviour and feelings. I always feel bad for writing what I really feel in journals, because I read quite a lot of journals and most people have so much bigger problems.. I guess I'm in a corny mood and will regret this tomorrow.. but oh well..  
Back to where this journal started. The reflecting on myself stuff, I hate to do this, but it did gave me some precious findings this year... I realised that I'm much different at school (during classes) than I actually am. I realised that I don't want to be the silent nerdy kid in class who always does her work. I just want to be myself, someone who actually is quite nerdy, but also capable of bringing her own meaning up, have fun during classes and make new friends.
I've always felt like I'm acting like someone I'm not and I've been working on that this past year. My friend (who used to be in the same year as me in highschool) confirmed that she thought that I was really different. I never used to be friends with her, let alone talk to her. But I've tried to open up to people more, show them my 'real colours' (cheesy I know.. can't think of anything else)

I'm quite proud about my progress and I still feel really relieved that I've told people about this. This might sound like I'm whining about nothing.. and I suppose I am, but to me it is a big thing. I don't really want pity of people who read this now or telling me that I did well. basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm back! And I really want to start drawing again, cause that's the only way to fully relax and clear my mind. I actually did start drawing again, here's the work in progress for the ones who haven't seen that yet! maaike1995.deviantart.com/art/…

so all in all, I think I need to enjoy the little things more and stop worrying so much and just be myself..

Ugh I hate exam weeks.. or rather the weeks before the exam week.
When I look at the pile of books _{I still haven't opened this semester} I'm just thinking how am I going to be able to read/study all that?!?!!one!?1! How the fuck am I supposed to be able to study 3 books in just one week.

That being said. I started a new drawing! finally.
but my eraser decided it would look good if it left a yellow stain (y)
I managed to get rid of it mostly, but it still looks like some weird shadow in the middle of a cheek.. Does anyone know how to fix something like this?? (you'd make me very very happy!) I'm actually quite proud of what my drawing looks like right now, but I just had to ruin it with that eraser (yಠ,ಠ)y

Also is there some kind of white pencil/pen/magicstick to highlight parts that need to be more white than the paper?

GUUUYS,

I don't know why I haven't been much on dA lately.. I haven't really been able to draw much either, or rather I didn't really feel like it. ):
I want to draw something again though, but I just can't seem to find a good reference.. so any tips? and what do you guys prefer? my black&white drawings or the coloured ones?

I'm really looking forward to the holidays!! though I'll have to study a lot, since I have exam weeks after D: but I'm sure I'll have time to do other things as well ^-^

I really don't have much to say.. I just wanted to say that I'm not dead. yet.